Written by Andrew P Street | Art by Robert Polmear
Dear the Internet,
So, it’s all confirmed: the seventh Star Wars film starts filming in May (the fourth, surely? C’mon!) and will be set thirty years after 1983’s Return of the Jedi.
It’s an all new story, not taking any cues from the wealth of books, video games, comics, toys, web content and depraved fever dreams that have sprung up in the interim to answer vital questions like “What happens to the guy who shot the tow cable at the AT-AT in The Empire Strikes Back?” and “How does Admiral Ackbar die?”* Which means that my mother may have been right: perhaps all that stuff was an embarrassing waste of money.
And part of me wants to believe that I’m over my Star Wars obsession now. I didn’t see the Clone Wars animated movie, I haven’t bought any of the newly-repackaced figures and I barely ever scour eBay for GameCubes so I can play X Wing Rogue Squadron II: Rogue Leader over and over again.… Read more
The new Australian indie thriller The Day of the Broken – previewed yesterday at Elsternwick’s Classic Cinema – uncovers the Melbourne that you don’t want to think about. It’s a city where men and women take the law into their own hands, where people have scores to settle, where no one escapes their demons.
This is the first feature film by Counterpunch Productions – a partnership of writer/director Simon J. Dutton and producer Angela Pippos. Satisfied that their screenplay would make a successful feature, the pair decided to bring it to life themselves rather than passing it on to another company.
What has resulted is a fiercely uncompromising, sharply intelligent thriller. After a young girl is murdered in the most abhorrent way, her mother’s brother-in-law sets off on a 24-hour manhunt, plunging head-first into St Kilda’s seething criminal underbelly.
The Day of the Broken could have been a plodding exercise in low-life violence, but the cleverly constructed plot keeps us guessing who the killer is until the very end.… Read more
The Melbourne Cinémathèque will be hosting an exclusive screening of Pier Paolo Pasolini’s controversial Salò, or the 120 Days of Sodom. The film has been banned several times in Australia, courtesy of graphic depictions of rape, abhorrent torture and coprophagia. The Melbourne Cinémathèque have side-stepped the ban by obtaining screening approval, which will see the Cinematheque presenting contextual introductory materials to the film and its director from 3.30pm, with the screening kicking off at 7pm. This one is for hardcore cinephiles keen to see something they’d never have a chance to see in a cinema (let alone at home!), and if you’re squeamish or sensitive, maybe consider researching the film a bit first.
The all-singing, all-bitching televised glitter bomb that is the Real Housewives of Melbourne is almost here. But whose side are you on? Whose random acts of fashion will you defend to the death or take to the social medias to scorn? If we know anything at all about surviving endless work conversations about reality TV, it’s that you need to pick your horse early on. And so, behold: our nifty guide to determining which RHM dame could be your BFF.
1. What’s your naughtiest shopping addiction?
a. Sparkly jewellery
b. Low-cut frocks
d. Plastic surgery
f. Darling, I love it all!
2. Who’s your ideal man?
a. A sophisticated man who appreciates beauty
b. A regular guy who follows his creative passion
c. A bon vivant who knows his way around a kitchen
d. A sexy younger man who can keep up with me
e. A smart guy who’s not threatened by an assertive woman
f.… Read more
The good old days, before anybody died.
If you’ve strolled along Brunswick Street lately and wondered what oh what will become of the now defunct Bala’s Food Source, we can tell you that it’s about to become a Mexican restaurant. Which probably won’t surprise you. What will surprise you is that you won’t ever be able to eat there. The crew behind Offspring, Melbourne’s hit adventures-in-neurosis TV drama, have commandeered the space and are currently turning it into a faux cantina for a shoot next week. After that, the real new leaseholder will be moving in and starting up a traditional Italian trattoria. Fun fact.… Read more
So you think you can act (in mockumentary style?). Then best hope you’re planning to travel soon. According to the Telegraph, the folks at Qantas and Modern Family are giving two people the chance to win a walk-on appearance on the hit comedy when the cast and crew are in Australia in February to shoot for two weeks. All you have to do to be in with a chance to win is book a flight between February 5 and 14 – apparently frequent fliers get double the chance to win (see what they did there, savvy buggers).
Good luck. Cue drummy, brassy title theme…… Read more
By Andrew P Street
Applause, please, for the folks at The Shiznit for their excellent take on films (largely) nominated for Oscars. Their handsome photoshoppery has given much of what I’m assured the young people call “the LOLS”. Especially Gravity. You absolutely goddamn nailed it, Ali Gray, Matt Looker and Neil Alcock, and for that you get an internet hug.
The whole lot of them can be viewed when you click your mouse-device right here, but these are a few of our favourites.
So it’s officially a three-horse race for the 2014 Oscars: 12 Years a Slave has nine nominations, while Gravity and American Hustle have ten each – which means that slavery, space and slick ’70s shysters now find themselves being judged against each other for perhaps the first time in human history. Will Oscar voters opt for the solemnity of 12 Years a Slave, the fun of American Hustle or the wonder of Gravity? At least one of these films will walk away dejected on the night, and, if you take a look at our predictions below, at the moment we fear that film may be 12 Years a Slave.
But what else do the 2014 Oscar nominations tell us? Major Oscar hopes are pretty much dead for Saving Mr Banks, Mandela and The Butler (although the first two films landed one nomination each, for score and song respectively), while in the acting category there was no love for Tom Hanks (Captain Phillips), Robert Redford (All is Lost) or Idris Elba (Mandela).… Read more
That’s right, HBO have just released a bunch (five to be exact) of Game of Thrones teasers on Vine. Here’s a peek at the sneak peek. You can check out the rest at HBO’s Game of Thrones Vine page.
Pretty exciting, hey? The first trailer for season four will premiere in the States on Sunday at 8.58pm ET, so hopefully we’ll see something online shortly after.
Games of Thrones season four returns on April 6.… Read more