23 December

Henry and Aaron’s ABC2 Xmas Quickie

Posted by in TV

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Stuff someone’s virtual stocking with a link to some fresh comedy. West Australian duo Henry Inglis and Aaron McCann have released a new digital short: Henry & Aaron’s ABC2 Christmas Special.

The two spearhead the next gen of Australian YouTube stars and have been embraced by ABC2, who are dedicating the entire silly season to comedy.

It also stars James Helmas, Danny ‘The Dynamite’ Danielson, Ben Sutton, Liam Graham and Paul ‘Werzel’ Montague.

Watch Henry & Aaron’s ABC2 Christmas SpecialRead more

22 December

Greg Hunt backflips on whaling

Posted by in News, Politics

Captain Siddharth Chakravarty - Sea Shepherd

Environment minister Greg Hunt has reneged on his promise to send a boat to monitor the whaling season in the Southern Ocean.

In a move that won’t surprise Sea Shepherd, Hunt now intends to send an A319 aircraft, staffed by Customs personnel, which will “send a clear message that the Australian government expects all parties to abide by the laws of the sea”.

Also, the intended ship is tied up rounding up boat people.

A plane can sporadically monitor proceedings, but is not equipped to prevent any violent clashes between Japanese whalers and Sea Shepherd ships, nor witness all developments.

When Labor were in power, Hunt put pressure on them on three occasions to send a ship to monitor whaling – and so now Greens are calling on him to resign.

To quote Captain Siddharth Chakravarty, who Time Out Melbourne interviewed just before the Steve Irwin and Bob Barker set sale from Melbourne, “The Australian Government has made this statement many times – it’s always a promise that’s made pre-election.… Read more

20 December

Get a piece of UNIQLO and Novak Djokovic at this Swanston Street pop-up

Uniqlo Interior

The arrival of UNIQLO is imminent, but fans of the Japanese fashion juggernaut will be able to get a taste of the brand before their first Australia store opens over at Emporium Melbourne. The UNIQLO pop-up will be arriving to Swanston Street in late January, and will be stocking a special line of 2014 Australian Open replica matchwear. The kit was designed for UNIQLO Global Brand Ambassador, Novak Djokovic, who wears the kit during all his professional games, including the 2014 Australian Open.

UNIQLO Pop-up Store, 171 Swanston St, Melbourne, 18 Jan-31 Mar 2014Read more

20 December

Five things it’s not too late to buy for food fans

Posted by in Food & Drink

Win at Christmas

A COW
This is the best thing we’ve ever heard of. Mountain View is a farm that lets you buy shares in the dairy herd. You are then entitled to a number of litres of milk per week, which is dropped off at pick up points around the city in stainless steel pails, unpasteurised and unhomogenised. For a household, it’s incredible. The set up fee for the minimum of five units is $150, but after that you simply pay $39.95 a month and get 5 litres of milk a week. That’s $1 a litre for the purest whole milk possible.

Tickets to the Melbourne Food and Wine Festival
A full day whisky adventure while fishing on a boat; a photography masterclass with the head picture honcho from Fool Magazine and a cocktail party with the Everleigh crew on the Colonial Tramcar are all up for grabs – and, they’re redeemable far enough from Chritsmas you’ll actually be hungry again.… Read more

19 December

Melbourne has a Captain Kirk of trams, keeps log, is wonderful

Captain Kirk of Melbourne trams

Melbourne, as you’re ramping up to Christmas and giving thanks to your colleagues, friends and total strangers in random acts of chardonnay-fueled  goodwill, make sure you spare a thought for sand.  It turns out we owe our grainy friend a lot. If you have ever voyaged on the good ship Public Transport in Melbourne, you may have at times noticed that sand fills sections of the walls of our trams. Being the edgy city this is, we’ve long thought those clear panels were some kind of art installation.  But a quick Google reveals two things:

1) We are wrong

2) Melbourne has one of the most surprisingly joy-giving blogs dedicated to tramlife you’ve ever seen.

melbournetramdriver.blogspot.com.au enthusiastically explains all the things about trams (and douchebags with umbrellas and the horror of working on New Year’s Eve) that you never knew you really want to know about.

It’s mesmerising. That sand, for example, turns out to be a delightfully antiquated mechanism for helping trams not kill us all in wet weather.… Read more

19 December

How to protect yourself against the 2012 Mayan Apocalypse, again

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Dear the Internet,

Can't say fairer than that

As the year comes to a close it’s very natural to get nostalgic for the things we’ve lost over the last 12 months, and that’s even more acute in 2013. This Saturday it’ll be exactly a year since the end of the world – and you know what? I still miss the old girl.

As everyone recalls, there was incontrovertible evidence of an approaching global cataclysm in the lead up to 21st December, 2012 as people unconvinced by copious data about myths like “global warming” or “rising sea levels” locked on to the absolutely undeniable evidence that the world was going to end, since a disputed ancient Mayan calendar stopped.

There is much I miss about the world. The laughter of children, the beauty of a sunset, Tetris, numbers, Adelaide, the work of Men Without Hats, democracy, The Empire Strikes Back, the scientific legacy of Johannes Kepler, alt.country, that episode of It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia where they do the musical, almonds, pornography: there are literally dozens of things.… Read more

18 December

Melbourne-based web series you should watch right now

Sure, Sydney may be home to the Bondi Hipsters, but down here in Melbourne we have some pretty sweet web stars of our own. Improv comedy Written It Down launched its anticipated second season today, so we thought we would list five of our favourite Melbourne-based web series.

Written It Down

If you love improv comedy, Written It Down is the web series for you. Created by Real Good Kid Productions, the basic premise of each episode is a comedian delivering bad news to someone without knowing exactly what it is. The actor is handed a line written by the producers just before each episode is filmed and each episode is short, sweet and funny. Think awkward break-up scenes due to betting and losing your girlfriend in a poker tournament and job dismissals due to be replaced by a robot.

Endzone

Endzone will have you scared to ever fare evade again.… Read more

18 December

Christmas lights ahoy

Christmas Lights

Melbourne gets a twinkle in its eye (and on its lawns and walls) about this time of year, and we’ve been out and about taking some splendid pics of what the bulb fiends have been up to in the suburbs. Check out our gallery and our pick of the best suburbs and streets to see Christmas lights in Melbourne.

Want more festive things? Right this way…

Christmas in MelbourneRead more

16 December

Skywhale finally set to fly over Melbourne

Skywhale

Earlier this month Melburnians got a look at Patricia Piccinini’s Skywhale as it was tethered to the forecourt of the Australian Centre for Contemporary Art, but due to Melbourne’s ever-changing crazy weather the giant hot-air balloon has been tucked away. Finally, this Wednesday 18th December between 6-7am, the Skywhale will fly directly over Melbourne’s city skyline. Make sure you’re looking up!

Update: Due to some low-hanging clouds (thanks, Melbourne!) the Skywhale won’t be flying anywhere tomorrow (I know, we’re disappointed too). We’ll let you know when the lift-off is rescheduled.

Photo: Nick-DRead more

15 December

The filthiest lyrics on Beyoncé’s Beyoncé

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We might not have loved her latest tour, but we’re generally big fans of Queen Bey around these parts and last week she confirmed her ahead-of-the-pop-pack-ness when she suddenly released her latest album, Beyoncé, pretty much out of nowhere on iTunes. Genius move. And the album is more than an album – it’s a collection of some 14 new songs, each with its own video… what’s being called a visual album. It’s certainly loaded with surprises: the videos for starters (including one for ‘No Angel’ that features footage shot at that Brunswick house), plus the method of delivery itself and the quality of the material (it’s kinda great). But the biggest surprise is how downright filthy Beyoncé  is: if the brief was ‘make Rihanna look like a promise-ring-wearing choir girl’, then this new ‘visual album’ is a rump-rumbling success. Here are our picks of Beyoncé‘s filthiest moments:

From ‘Drunk in Love’: mixed-metaphor debauchery

Graining on that wood, graining, graining on that wood
I’m swerving on that, swerving, swerving on that big body Benz
Serving all this, swerve, surfing all of this good good

From ‘Partitian’: awesome ’90s references AND swear-word bonus

Driver roll up the partition please
Driver roll up the partition please
I don’t need you seeing ‘yonce on her knees
Took 45 minutes to get all dressed up
We ain’t even gonna make it to this club
Now my mascara running, red lipstick smudged
Oh he so horny, yeah he want to fuck
He popped all my buttons, he ripped my blouse
He Monica Lewinsky all on my gown

From ‘Rocket’: the song that opens with ‘let me sit this ass on you’ also has all this

So rock right up to
The side of my mountain
Climb until you reach my peak babe, my peak, the peak
And reach right into the bottom of my fountain
I wanna play in your deep end, your deep end, the deep
Then dip me under where you can feel my river flowing flow
Hold me ’til I scream for air to breathe
Don’t wash me over until my well runs dry
Send all your sins all over me babe, over me

From ‘Blow’: “taste the rainbow”

Can you lick my skittles
That’s the sweetest in the middle
Pink that’s the flavor
Solve the riddle

I’mma lean back
Don’t worry its nothing major
Make sure you clean that
That’s the only way to get the
Flavor

Also from ‘Blow’: OH MY G…

I can’t wait ’til I get home so you can turn that cherry out, turn that cherry out, turn that cherry out
I can’t wait ’til I get home so you can turn that cherry out, turn that cherry out, turn that cherry outRead more