18 December

Christmas lights ahoy

Christmas Lights

Melbourne gets a twinkle in its eye (and on its lawns and walls) about this time of year, and we’ve been out and about taking some splendid pics of what the bulb fiends have been up to in the suburbs. Check out our gallery and our pick of the best suburbs and streets to see Christmas lights in Melbourne.

Want more festive things? Right this way…

Christmas in MelbourneRead more

16 December

Skywhale finally set to fly over Melbourne


Earlier this month Melburnians got a look at Patricia Piccinini’s Skywhale as it was tethered to the forecourt of the Australian Centre for Contemporary Art, but due to Melbourne’s ever-changing crazy weather the giant hot-air balloon has been tucked away. Finally, this Wednesday 18th December between 6-7am, the Skywhale will fly directly over Melbourne’s city skyline. Make sure you’re looking up!

Update: Due to some low-hanging clouds (thanks, Melbourne!) the Skywhale won’t be flying anywhere tomorrow (I know, we’re disappointed too). We’ll let you know when the lift-off is rescheduled.

Photo: Nick-DRead more

15 December

The filthiest lyrics on Beyoncé’s Beyoncé


We might not have loved her latest tour, but we’re generally big fans of Queen Bey around these parts and last week she confirmed her ahead-of-the-pop-pack-ness when she suddenly released her latest album, Beyoncé, pretty much out of nowhere on iTunes. Genius move. And the album is more than an album – it’s a collection of some 14 new songs, each with its own video… what’s being called a visual album. It’s certainly loaded with surprises: the videos for starters (including one for ‘No Angel’ that features footage shot at that Brunswick house), plus the method of delivery itself and the quality of the material (it’s kinda great). But the biggest surprise is how downright filthy Beyoncé  is: if the brief was ‘make Rihanna look like a promise-ring-wearing choir girl’, then this new ‘visual album’ is a rump-rumbling success. Here are our picks of Beyoncé‘s filthiest moments:

From ‘Drunk in Love': mixed-metaphor debauchery

Graining on that wood, graining, graining on that wood
I’m swerving on that, swerving, swerving on that big body Benz
Serving all this, swerve, surfing all of this good good

From ‘Partitian': awesome ’90s references AND swear-word bonus

Driver roll up the partition please
Driver roll up the partition please
I don’t need you seeing ‘yonce on her knees
Took 45 minutes to get all dressed up
We ain’t even gonna make it to this club
Now my mascara running, red lipstick smudged
Oh he so horny, yeah he want to fuck
He popped all my buttons, he ripped my blouse
He Monica Lewinsky all on my gown

From ‘Rocket': the song that opens with ‘let me sit this ass on you’ also has all this

So rock right up to
The side of my mountain
Climb until you reach my peak babe, my peak, the peak
And reach right into the bottom of my fountain
I wanna play in your deep end, your deep end, the deep
Then dip me under where you can feel my river flowing flow
Hold me ’til I scream for air to breathe
Don’t wash me over until my well runs dry
Send all your sins all over me babe, over me

From ‘Blow': “taste the rainbow”

Can you lick my skittles
That’s the sweetest in the middle
Pink that’s the flavor
Solve the riddle

I’mma lean back
Don’t worry its nothing major
Make sure you clean that
That’s the only way to get the

Also from ‘Blow': OH MY G…

I can’t wait ’til I get home so you can turn that cherry out, turn that cherry out, turn that cherry out
I can’t wait ’til I get home so you can turn that cherry out, turn that cherry out, turn that cherry outRead more

13 December

The hot new restaurants, bars and cafés you need to be in right now

Posted by in Food & Drink

Another week, another 236 new places to eat and drink at in Melbourne. It’s been a big one, so here’s just the shiny tip of the monumental iceberg.

Press Club Restaurant
It’s been a very dramatic Days of our Lives year for the Made Establishment. The restaurant group turned St Katherine’s into Hellenic Republic Kew; sold PM 24 to the crew from the Smith (who are turning it into an Asian diner, Lucy Liu’s), and converted the original site of Press Club into casual Greek joint, Gazi.  Oh, they also opened Jimmy Grants souvlaki bar, and they’re turning their South Yarra Greek-Italian restaurant Mama Baba into a circusy French restaurant, Le Grande Cirque, next year. In this weeks episode, George Calombaris (the Masterchef judge who himself has undergone a radical transformation this year – he’s tiny!) has donned the whites to turn out the group’s only remaining fine dining offering at the all new Press Club, which now fills what used to be Little Press.… Read more

12 December

New schoolyard rivalries for a post-Ford-vs-Holden Australia


Dear the Internet,

The now-inevitable closure of Holden has raised the spectre of a national recession as rolling layoffs by the car maker affect the automotive industry as a whole. But on a deeper level, it also affects something tied in closely with our national identity: pointless schoolyard rivalries.

 New schoolyard rivalries for a post-Ford-vs-Holden Australia

Like religious faith, the Holden-vs-Ford debates that characterised my childhood were a bitter competition regarding essentially identical products determined entirely by the choices of one’s parents. Fortunately there are plenty of other ways to foster division between our nation’s children, thereby preparing them for the hard-fought centre-conservative-vs-conservative-centrist politics that are currently tearing our nation asunder.

In order to foster further division, here are my picks for the next big rivalry:

Fishes vs Fish
The octopus/octopi debates have been thankfully settled (it’s the latter, obviously), but it’s not the only aquatic plural to turn brother against brother. Do you endorse the clarity of “school of fishes” or the understated elegance of “school of fish”?… Read more