The word is out – experimental electronic artist Flying Lotus will play a hushed gig at Howler under his rap moniker Captain Murphy tomorrow night. Even if you experienced his stunning audio-visual Layer 3 show at the Forum last Friday, there’s no telling which side of Steven Ellison to expect this time around. Tickets are only available at the door.
For those gearing up for Golden Plains, don’t miss FlyLo take to the Supernatural Amphitheatre this weekend.
We Melburnians love to boast about our shopping. But for all our laneway boutiques, vintage treasure troves and cute pop-ups, there’s nothing quite like the excitement of seeing one of the world’s biggest brands open its doors in our city.
UNIQLO, welcome to Melbourne. This morning, we visited the Japanese brand’s pop-up shop for the launch of Australia’s first UNIQLO store, opening Wednesday April 16. UNIQLO’s Emporium Melbourne store will spread its new Autumn/Winter range over four floors, spanning over 3000 square metres.
If you’re unfamiliar with the brand, chances are you’ve at least seen UNIQLO apparel on tennis star Novak Djokovic and Aussie golf champion Adam Scott, both global ambassadors. Not simply sporting attire, the brand’s core concept is ‘LifeWear’ – clothes that feel like a second skin. Think quality basics, fine wool, soft cashmere and cotton flannels. We can’t wait to get our hands on UNIQLO’s famous Ultra Light Down vests and jackets. Not only are they said to be unbelievably warm, they also look like an almost unfeasibly stylish version of your regular puffy coat.
Also announced today were the five Australian brand ambassadors, chosen to represent the diverse lifestyles and talent within our city. There’s The Slap actress Sophie Lowe, young sailor Jessica Watson, Cumulus Inc.… Read more
Written by Andrew P Street | Art by Robert Polmear
Dear the Internet,
The Guardian recently published an interactive map showing how one’s life expectancy changes depending on where in the world one lives. It’s a fascinating tool unambiguously showing that people in big cities tend to live significantly longer than those in rural and remote deathtraps.
However, looking at our wide brown land that’s so controversially girt by sea, it’s notable that those who live over in Sydney apparently die six weeks earlier than the national average… which got us to wondering how Melburnians fare.
To investigate this, we’ve elucidated the elements that extend and diminish life for Sydney residents, alongside those of the nation’s cultural capital, Melbourne.
|Tantalising anticipation of eventually doing the BridgeClimb, definitely this year, definitely||+4 mo||Sense of unfettered awe and wonder when beholding the majestic beauty of Federation Square||+3 mo|
|Exhaustion from life being constant whirlwind of Baz Luhrmann production numbers||-4 mo||Injuries sustained falling off footpath because of intrusive public art||-6 mo|
|Bondi Beach over-flexing||-8 mo||The weather: oh dear god, the weather||-8 mo|
|Relaxing snoozes in Parramatta Road traffic||+1 mo||Post-Jet grief||-4 mo|
|Delight at easy access to the electrifying nightlife of Canberra||+1 mo||Disappointment at not being Berlin/Tokyo/New York||-3 mo|
|Rugby||-3 mo||AFL||+3 mo|
|Proximity to Kyle Sandilands||-9.5 mo||Knife fights over which Fitzroy café has the worst coffee||-3 mo|
|Citywide safety, respect and happiness manifested by 1.30am pub lockouts||TBC||Enduring hope that Harold Holt will return any minute now||+2 mo|
|Mysterious Shire vanishings||-4 mo||St Kilda foreshore despair||-4 mo|
|Tram envy||-3 mo||Yarra poisoning||-8 mo|
|Mardi Gras float collisions||-2 mo||Seeing that blonde one from Neighbours at the supermarket||+7 mo|
|Sense of freedom from never having to endure the burdens of home ownership||+12 mo||Hearing loss from embarrassing overabundance of live venues||-1 mo|
|Restaurant queue ennui||-6 mo||Comedian infestations||-3 mo|
|Relief at not being Brisbane||+3 mo||Relief at not being Adelaide||+3 mo|
|Smug sense of superiority||+6 mo||Sense of superior smugness||+6 mo|
So which city is better?… Read more
Calling all flying jaffle fans! It’s been brought to our attention that the good folks behind parachute-delivered sandwich outfit Jafflechutes are seeking a new CBD space from which to launch their next lot of toasted delights. Can you help? We hope so. Do it for all of us. See below their Facebook plea:
We’re on the lookout for some new jafflechuting spots around Melbourne CBD, and we were wondering if you might be able to lend a hand.
Our requirements are pretty basic.. We need:
- A balcony or rooftop space about five storeys high
- A spot that’s mostly out of the way (laneways are *good*)
- No tram lines / evil trees / ungodly winds
- Some electricity
- Nice music
If you know of such a place and would be happy for us to fill it with cheesy craziness for an hour or two, please send us a message!”
The new Australian indie thriller The Day of the Broken – previewed yesterday at Elsternwick’s Classic Cinema – uncovers the Melbourne that you don’t want to think about. It’s a city where men and women take the law into their own hands, where people have scores to settle, where no one escapes their demons.
This is the first feature film by Counterpunch Productions – a partnership of writer/director Simon J. Dutton and producer Angela Pippos. Satisfied that their screenplay would make a successful feature, the pair decided to bring it to life themselves rather than passing it on to another company.
What has resulted is a fiercely uncompromising, sharply intelligent thriller. After a young girl is murdered in the most abhorrent way, her mother’s brother-in-law sets off on a 24-hour manhunt, plunging head-first into St Kilda’s seething criminal underbelly.
The Day of the Broken could have been a plodding exercise in low-life violence, but the cleverly constructed plot keeps us guessing who the killer is until the very end. Multiple storylines unfold slowly and separately, with connections remaining unclear for a large proportion of the film. It’s a risky decision, but it makes for gripping viewing.
It’s a strange feeling to watch horrible nerve-wracking events take place in so many familiar locations.… Read more
The Melbourne Cinémathèque will be hosting an exclusive screening of Pier Paolo Pasolini’s controversial Salò, or the 120 Days of Sodom. The film has been banned several times in Australia, courtesy of graphic depictions of rape, abhorrent torture and coprophagia. The Melbourne Cinémathèque have side-stepped the ban by obtaining screening approval, which will see the Cinematheque presenting contextual introductory materials to the film and its director from 3.30pm, with the screening kicking off at 7pm. This one is for hardcore cinephiles keen to see something they’d never have a chance to see in a cinema (let alone at home!), and if you’re squeamish or sensitive, maybe consider researching the film a bit first.
Dear the Internet,
Australians love democracy on Facebook. And it’s fair enough too, since we don’t really get any of it in our political lives. That’s the only possible explanation for the ubiquity of quizzes asking which Game of Thrones character, which Star Wars villain and/or which intestinal parasite we are (I got E. histolytica! That’s the coolest one!).
And thus, in a shameless attempt to chase that web-savvy demographic of people with too much time on their hands, I’ve constructed this questionnaire to determine which hackneyed, over-played, downright irritating food trend most represents you, the discerning quizthusiast.
Pick yer answers, calculate yer scores, and learn your special personal truth. It’s not just fun – it’s SCIENCE!
In an ideal world, life should be…
a. indistinguishable from anyone else’s (4)
b. briefly pleasant, but then full of shame (10)
c. pointlessly complicated and dangerous (8)
d. socially responsible, yet disgusting (6)
When you think of the improvisational powers of MacGyver, you think…
a. “That would never actually work.” (2)
b. “Yeah! Whoo! Anything can be used for anything!” (3)
c. “What is going on with his hair?” (1)
d. “What’s a MacGuyver?” (0)
Your favourite design aesthetic could be best described as…
a.… Read more
Melburnians are divided on this year’s White Night, with many taking to the official Facebook page to share horror stories of being stuck in a CBD crush and others proclaiming it a spellbinding night out. Photographer Roberto Seba managed to get these fantastic pictures while in the thick of it.
Photos by Roberto Seba… Read more
The all-singing, all-bitching televised glitter bomb that is the Real Housewives of Melbourne is almost here. But whose side are you on? Whose random acts of fashion will you defend to the death or take to the social medias to scorn? If we know anything at all about surviving endless work conversations about reality TV, it’s that you need to pick your horse early on. And so, behold: our nifty guide to determining which RHM dame could be your BFF.
1. What’s your naughtiest shopping addiction?
a. Sparkly jewellery
b. Low-cut frocks
d. Plastic surgery
f. Darling, I love it all!
2. Who’s your ideal man?
a. A sophisticated man who appreciates beauty
b. A regular guy who follows his creative passion
c. A bon vivant who knows his way around a kitchen
d. A sexy younger man who can keep up with me
e. A smart guy who’s not threatened by an assertive woman
f. Someone with enough cash to fund my travel and shopping
3. What’s your idea of the perfect weekend?
a. Quiet family time at our Mornington Peninsula weekender
b. A romantic weekend in with my husband
c. Organising a huge, fabulous party for all my friends
d.… Read more
So you think you’ve seen the world’s flashiest live DJ shows? Not as far as Armin van Buuren’s concerned. Yep, the Dutch lord of the trance is on his way to Hisense Arena, and he doesn’t do things by halves.
The Armin Only: Intense tour is a six-hour spectacular that he’s taking all over the planet (nearly – the only continent missing from his schedule is Antarctica). Combining elements of theatre, dance and live music, the show is meticulously choreographed. Plus, you just know there’ll be smoke and flames and screens as big as your house.
Of course you’ll want to hear the uplifting trance tracks from his 2013 Intense album, but don’t expect a hit procession. Armin’s keen on guiding ravers through an exploration of trance music… and we reckon it’ll be worth the ride.
The first (and slightly cheaper) round of tickets is now on sale. For a closer look into the show’s evolution, have a look at the series of web episodes put together by Armin’s crew – the first one is below. You can see interviews with Armin and his collaborative team and even watch them rehearsing. It’s fascinating, but if we hear the word intense one more time, we might just punch something.… Read more